Misunderstanding quotes

“- Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
- Celia: What did you say?
- Mike: I said... Sulley!
- Celia: Sulley?!”

Billy Crystal - Mike
Jennifer Tilly - Celia

“- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
- Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Padre: [offers Machete a cigar] Cuban?
- Machete: Mexican.”
Cheech Marin - Padre
Danny Trejo - Machete

- Ben Harrison: See Mom? I told you! I'm telepathetic.
- Jackie Harrison: You mean “telepathic”.
- Ben Harrison: That's what I said.
Susan Sarandon - Jackie Harrison
Liam Aiken - Ben Harrison

“We're not surfers, we never have been, and real surfers don't dig our music anyway!”

Paul Dano - Young Brian

“- Tum Tum: What is this? A Mercedes Benz?
- Colt: It means peace, pizza brain.
- Tum Tum: Peas? I hate peas...”
Chad Power - Tum Tum
Max Elliott Slade - Colt

“- Anna Held: You should have at least closed the door.
- Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.: Wait! Anna! Anna, please don't misjudge me. I couldn't help it. She's... she's drunk.”

Luise Rainer - Anna Held
William Powell - Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.

- Brax: Shit man, you and me here, what are the odds?
- Christian Wolff: Statistically speaking...
- Brax: Christ man, it's rhetorical, I mean "really"!
Jon Bernthal - Brax
Ben Affleck - Christian Wolff

“- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: I just got here and I haven't...
- Marty Lewis: Wait! What do you mean you just got there?
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Yeah. Right. Minutes ago.
- Marty Lewis: You left on Tuesday. Today's Saturday.
- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: That happened to you, too? That's weird. The same mix-up happened to me this morning!”
Bill Murray - Hunter S. Thompson
Bruno Kirby - Marty Lewis

“- Lt. Frank Drebin: Gimme the strongest thing you got.... On second thought, how about a black Russian?
- Waiter: Very well sir.”

Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin
Tom McGreevey - Waiter

“- Coach Calhoun: All right, let's trying cutting it to two packs a day. Now, you have to change.
- Danny: Well, yeah. That's why I'm here, ya know? To change.
- Coach Calhoun: No, I mean your clothes.
- Danny: Oh.”

Sid Caesar - Coach Calhoun
John Travolta - Danny

“- Ray Wilkins: Damn girl, I sure like to get in your pants...
- Brenda Meeks: Really?
- Ray Wilkins: Yeah, what size are these?”
Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks

“- Linda Morrison: I saw you on the news, Jack, dangling from a rope! How could you tell me that it's not dangerous?
- Jack Morrison: I never said it wasn't dangerous.
- Linda Morrison: When we talked about it, I asked you and you said it wasn't dangerous.
- Jack Morrison: I said it wasn't any more dangerous than being on the engine! I never said...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jacinda Barrett - Linda Morrison
Joaquin Phoenix - Jack Morrison

- Al Burnett: Do we have a problem?
- Ross "Mitch" Mitchell: Yeah! You treat us like a pack of galahs!
- Glenn Latham: That's a type of parrot.
Patrick Warburton - Al Burnett
Kevin Harrington - Ross 'Mitch' Mitchell
Tom Long - Glenn Latham

“- Garfield: Oh baby, you smell so good.
- Arlene: You think I'm gonna fall for a line like that?
- Garfield: I can already taste you from here, my love, my desire. I worship you. I dream of you. I'm humbled, and crumbled in your presence.
- Arlene: Garfield, I didn't realise your feelings ran so deep.”

Bill Murray - Garfield
Debra Messing - Arlene

“They busted up the wrong house. They went in and blew everyone away. The wrong house! They got the Wong house.”
Paulina Porizkova - Billy Hill

“- Max Cartwright: You have a therapist?
- Gertie Michaels: Mmm-hmm.
- Max Cartwright: Does it help you deal?
- Gertie Michaels: No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so...”
Taissa Farmiga - Max Cartwright
Alia Shawkat - Gertie Michaels

“- Landlady: That doesn't look anything like you.
- Maxwell Smart: It's my thumb print.”

Ceil Cabot - Landlady
Don Adams - Maxwell Smart

“Dead mans chungs.”

“- Phoebe: Okay, so just lead me through this one more time. Just so I'm clear.
- Mike Howell: Um, I hit him with a spoon and his lungs exploded.
- Phoebe: It wasn't his lungs.
- Mike Howell: No, that's what happened. Because he couldn't breathe because I got him in the neck.
- Phoebe: Yeah, your lungs aren't in your neck, they're in your...” (continue)(continue reading)
Kristen Stewart - Phoebe Larson
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“Oh, we at war! Saddam Hussein is bombing us!”

Mark Curry - Stu the Cabbie

“- Clark Griswold: I'll have a Coke.
- Stewardess: Do you want that in the can?
- Clark Griswold: [Clark turns and looks at the bathroom, then turns back at the Stewardess] No, I'll have it right here.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Wendy Goldman - Stewardess

“Gazongas? I think he was saying he likes your cones.”

Sean Astin - Dave

“- Lane Myer: Uh, hello?
- Monique Junot: Ah, bonjour.
- Lane Myer: Monique, hi.
- Monique Junot: Comment allez-vous?
- Lane Myer: No thanks, I already had breakfast.”
John Cusack - Lane Myer
Diane Frankin - Monique Junot

“- Neil Clarke: Give me a body that people find attractive!
- [He turns into a topless woman]
- Neil Clarke: No! A male body! Give me the body of a great man!
- [Turns into Albert Einstein]
- Neil Clarke: No!”
Simon Pegg - Neil