Money quotes

“- Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience?
- Robbie Hart: No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.”

Kevin Nealon - Mr. Simms
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“Money? The only honest way I know to get it is earn it or inherit it. And I don't have any rich relatives about to die.”
Jeff Fahey - Duane

It all goes back to something my grandmother told me when I was a kid. "Holden", she said, "the big bucks are in dick and fart jokes". She was a church goer.
Ben Affleck - Holden McNeil

“- Cameron: That was the hardest thousand dollars I ever earned.
- Eli Cross: Thousand dollars? What thousand dollars?”
Steve Railsback - Cameron
Peter O'Toole - Eli Cross

“- Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
- Winston Zeddmore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.”
Annie Potts - Janine Melnitz
Ernie Hudson - Winston Zeddmore

“What if I said I'd be your girlfriend the next couple of days? No charge.”

Rebecca De Mornay - Lana

“- Vincent Benedict: You could be a boxer or something. I could be your manager.
- Julius Benedict: No, I could never fight for money.
- Vincent Benedict: Well that's fine. You fight, I'll keep the money.”
Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict

“- Pyatt: Little more, little less, just take the money.
- Billie Jean: For my troubles? Or to keep my mouth shut? Or maybe for a few minutes in the upstairs room of your store. How much is that worth to you, Mister Pyatt?
- Pyatt: Nobody forced you up there, you knew exactly what you were doing.
- Billie Jean: But what about our lessons? Pay as...” (continue)(continue reading)
Richard Bradford - Pyatt
Helen Slater - Billie Jean

My father wrote about this in his book. Chapter 1... Page 1... Paragraph 1: "What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?... Money".
Tom Cruise - David Aames

“- Lady Customer: Really? Stomach cramps? But it's such a good buy.
- Paul Bland: Is lighter fluid at three ninety-five a pint but I wouldn't serve it to my dinner guests.”

Lynn Hobart - Lady Customer
Paul Bartel - Paul Bland

“I have $7.35. I'd like to put some of it in a T-bill, some of it into the stock market - and the rest I'd just like to save for a rainy day.”
Annette Bening - Susan Anderson

“- Donald Patterson: Bad things tend to happen around you two. Some money got lost and I think you two can help me find it.
- Charlie: How so?
- Donald Patterson: You look for it!”
Robert Blake - Donald Patterson
Woody Harrelson - Charlie Robinson

“- Gloria: The money was mine to keep for both of us when Jeopardy called.
- Billy: Jeopardy is not going to call, when are you going to fuckin' wake up.
- Gloria: Jeopardy is going to call Billy, it is my destiny that I triumph magnificently on that show and I'll never do that if I have to wear this stupid hoochie-mama looking dress that you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Rosie Perez - Gloria Clemente
Woody Harrelson - Billy Hoyle

“- Francesca 'Frankie' Sutton: The only way we gonna see cash is if we take a bank.
- Cleopatra 'Cleo' Sims: Now see I'm with that shit!
- Lida 'Stony' Newsom: Ya'll niggas done lost ya'll mind. We might as well not even talk about this shit no more.
- Francesca 'Frankie' Sutton: Well I'm talkin' 'bout it. And ain't nobody gonna stop me from...” (continue)(continue reading)
Vivica A. Fox - Francesca 'Frankie' Sutton
Queen Latifah - Cleopatra 'Cleo' Sims
Jada Pinkett Smith - Lida 'Stony' Newsom

“- Robert the Bruce: I respect what you said, but remember that these men have lands and castles. It's much to risk.
- William Wallace: And the common man, who bleeds on the battlefield, does he risk less?”
Angus Macfadyen - Robert the Bruce
Mel Gibson - William Wallace

“- Day-Day: I gotta get this money by tomorrow.
- Roach: You could sell your Beemer.
- Day Day: I can do what?
- Roach: Sell your car.
- Day-Day: Sell your mama's car! I'm not sellin' my car for that.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day
Justin Pierce - Roach

“- Pee-wee Herman: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
- Francis Buxton: Then you're crazy!”
Paul Reubens - Pee-wee Herman
Mark Holton - Francis Buxton

“- Lars Smuntz: Some things are more important than money, Ernie.
- Ernie Smuntz: Notice it's always the financially challenged who say that?”
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz
Nathan Lane - Ernie Smuntz

“- Mrs. Laura Cheveley: We were quite well suited, as I recall.
- Lord Arthur Goring: You were poor, I was rich, it must have suited you very well. And then you met the Baron, who was even richer. And that suited you better.”
Julianne Moore - Mrs. Laura Cheveley
Rupert Everett - Lord Arthur Goring

“- Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna get the rest of the money the old-fashioned way.
- T.J. Hicks: You gonna steal it?”
Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow
Eddie Griffin - T.J. Hicks

“A pint of your blood can fetch you fifty bucks. A shot of cum, three grand.”

Ryan Phillippe - Mr. Parker

“- Peter Falcone: It's a rip, man. It's a total rip.
- David Falcone: I know. How's the little guy ever supposed to get ahead? They won't give you a loan unless ya already got the money. It's totally scatalogical.”

Peter Paul - Peter Falcone
David Paul - David Falcone

“What is it, gambling? Drugs? You know I'd really like to help you but I'm kind of tapped out this month. The IRS is coming down on me like it's some personal vendetta against Bobby Finstock.”

Jay Tarses - Coach Finstock

“- Old King Cole: I'll give 50,000 guineas for the capture of that scoundrel, dead or alive.
- Stan: Dead or alive?
- Old King Cole: Dead or alive!
- Stan: Can't you make up your mind how you want him?”

Kewpie Morgan - Old King Cole
Stan Laurel - Stan

“Let's see the color of your money!”

Bill Paxton - Clyde the Bartender