Movie quotes

“You got a killer who's going to be super human. Stabbing him won't work. Shooting him won't work. Basically in the third one you gotta cryogenically freeze his head, decapitate him, or blow him up.”

Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks

I know some of you have never been in the motion picture business before, and some of you have been at it a long time. But I want all of you to look at the faces out here during this picture. There's gonna be room in their heads for only one thought: "Don't let it get me". They know we can't hurt them, but they're still gonna be scared half to... (continue)(continue reading)

John Goodman - Lawrence Woolsey

“- TS Quint: What's he doing?
- Jay: Shithead here watched Empire and Jedi last week and ever since then, he's been trying to do the Jedi mind trick. The crazy fuck thinks he can levitate shit with his thoughts.”

Jeremy London - TS Quint
Jason Mewes - Jay

You know how in horror movies the door is swinging back and forth from one hinge in front of a dark room, and some stupid moron is walking up to it, just gonna go in, and you think to yourself, "Why is she doing that? Why is she going in there? What could possible make her go into that room? Doesn't she know better?".

Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Karen Collier

“- Tommy: La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
- Richard: [walks in] Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
- Tommy: That was from 'Star Wars'.
- Richard: I know.”

Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

“- James Whale: Am I right in assuming, Mr. Kay, that it's not me that you're interested in, but only my horror pictures?
- Edmund Kay: No, but it's the horror movies you'll be remembered for.
- James Whale: I'm not dead yet, Mr. Kay.”
Sir Ian McKellen - James Whale
Jack Plotnick - Edmund Kay

“- Deer Hunter: Cried when you saw Bambi?
- Starman: Define 'Bambi'?
- Deer Hunter: Huh?
- Jenny Hayden: He doesn't understand, he's not from around here.”

Ted White - Deer Hunter
Jeff Bridges - Starman
Karen Allen - Jenny Hayden

“And so the rule is, when mounting a... play. Keep it sunny, keep it funny, keep it gay.”
Roger Bart - Carmen Ghia

“- Dian Fossey: Why am I in this movie so much?
- Bob Campbell: You're the story. You're what people are interested in. The gorilla girl.”
Sigourney Weaver - Dian Fossey
Bryan Brown - Bob Campbell

This is a story of love and loss, fathers and sons, and the foresight to retain international merchandising rights. This is the story of "Star Wars". Let's begin with part four.
Seth MacFarlane - Peter Griffin

“- Bart Simpson: Tell us a story, Grampa, you've led an interesting life.
- Grampa: That's a lie and you know it! But I have seen a lot of movies...”
Nancy Cartwright - Bart Simpson
Dan Castellaneta - Grampa

“This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.”
Steve Martin - Bowfinger

“- Buck Cluck: I'd like to see the movie they make about you now.
- Chicken Little: I just hope they stay true to what really happened?
- Buck Cluck: Oh, son. These people are from Hollywood. The one thing they will never do is mess with a good story.”
Garry Marshall - Buck Cluck
Zach Braff - Chicken Little

“- Lenny Weinrib: You didn't see Schindler's List?
- Kevin: No, no... that was the one with the Jews and the, um... who were the bad guys?
- Lenny Weinrib: The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis.
- Kevin: They were tough motherfuckers.”
Woody Allen - Lenny
Michael Rapaport - Kevin

"Hardware Wars"! A spectacle light years ahead of its time! Starring: Fluke Starbucker, intergalactic boy wonder. Augie 'Ben' Doggie, venerable member of the Redeye Knights. Princess Anne-Droid, interstellar damsel in distress. Ham Salad, ace mercenary pilot and intergalactic wise guy. Darph Nader, villain.
Paul Frees - Narrator

Now, I'm going to go back inside and finish watching "Sleepless in Seattle". Nobody screw with me.
Tony Longo - Sensitive Moviegoer

I turned on the TV. They were playing "Queen Christina". That close-up of you at the end, I thought it would never end. I mean it just went on and on and on. Oh, God, how I hated you. I really hated myself. I thought if I looked like you, if I had that face, if I had those eyes, I wouldn't be so alone.

Anne Bancroft - Estelle Rolfe

“- Ben: How about 'Glitter'?
- Tony: Thayer's favorite movie.
- Thayer: It was underrated!”

Matthew McConaughey - Ben Barry
Adam Goldberg - Tony
Thomas Lennon - Thayer

“- Director: Get off of my set, and out of my picture. Off, off! You're washed up, you're finished! I'll see to it that you never make another movie again!
- Hrundi V. Bakshi: Does that include television, sir?”
Herbert Ellis - Director
Peter Sellers - Hrundi V. Bakshi

“I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly.”

Nancy McLoughlin - Lizbeth

“- Homer Simpson: [blundering into a movie's casting session] Hello, can I have change for a dollar? Also, can I have a dollar?
- Comic Book Guy: You. Are. Acceptable!
- Homer Simpson: Great, would you like to see me naked?
- Hollywood Casting Lady: Oh, there's no nudity in this movie.
- Homer Simpson: What movie?”
Dan Castellaneta - Homer Simpson
Hank Azaria - Comic Book Guy

- Mark's Mom: Mark, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to go to that movie - that "Star Track" movie.
- Young Mark: Oh, Mom, how many times do I have to tell you? "Track" is what a train goes on, okay? "Trek" is what the Enterprise goes on, okay?
- Mark's Mom: Yeah, and they say the pain of childbirth ends with labor.
Marilyn Kentz - Gail - Mark's Mom
Ethan Glazer - Young Mark

“- Joe Devine: Can you help me find a script?
- Fanny Nash: This is Hollywood. Just go outside and ask anyone you see to give you a script. A gardener, a cripple, a child molester. They've all got 'em.”
Alec Baldwin - Joe Devine
Joan Cusack - Fanny Nash

“In the movies, when people wake up together in the morning, they immediately start kissing, nuzzling and going at it, but what they never do is get up first, take a leak and brush their goddamn teeth, which I don't think I'm alone in feeling is pretty much necessary when you wake up.”
Timothy Olyphant - Pete

- Bletch: Have you thought of a name for it, yet?
- Trevor the Rat: I was thinking along the lines of..."Dennis does Daisy".
- Bletch: No. That's lousy.
- Trevor the Rat: How about..."Anal Antics"?
- Bletch: "Anal Antics"... yes. It will appeal to the intellectuals. Do you think it will do as well as our last release and win the Hooker Prize?
Peter Vere-Jones - Bletch
Brian Sergent - Trevor the Rat