Movie quotes

“- Steve Jobs: I don't want you to think of this as just a film - some process of converting electrons and magnetic impulses into shapes and figures and sounds. No. Listen to me. We're here to make a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why even be here? We're creating a completely new consciousness, like an artist or poet. That's how you have to...” (continue)(continue reading)
Noah Wyle - Steve Jobs
J.G. Hertzler - Ridley Scott

“- Old Man Phil: Larry Benjamin was the first director to deal with the subject of AIDS way back in 1985.
- Casey: Right, you call having a mindless nymphet getting raped by an evil general with AIDS is dealing with the subject?”
Michael Locascio - Old Man Phil
Will Keenan - Casey Kaufman

- Theo Calder: I'm Dr. Calder. You've been charged with one count of murder and found incompetent to stand trial.
- Pete: She had a demon in her for a while. My neighbour, Mrs. Karsh. It would come and go. Nobody saw it... except me.
- Theo Calder: What did it look like, the demon?
- Pete: Um... Did you ever see "Alien" with Sigourney Weaver?
-... (continue)(continue reading)
Cuba Gooding Jr. - Theo Caulder
Thomas Q. Morris - Pete

“- Doug McKenzie: I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
- Bob McKenzie: He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.”
Dave Thomas - Doug McKenzie
Rick Moranis - Bob McKenzie

“True trilogies are all about going back to the beginning and discovering something that wasn't true from the get go. Godfather, Jedi, all revealed something that we thought was true that wasn't true.”
Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks

“- The Great Gonzo: You'll think it's stupid.
- Fozzie Bear: No we won't, tell us, tell us!
- The Great Gonzo: I want to go to Bombay, India and become a movie star.
- Fozzie Bear: You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star! You go where we're going: Hollywood.”

Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo
Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear

“I'll tell you a secret. The last act makes a film. Wow them in the end, and you got a hit. You can have flaws, problems, but wow them in the end, and you've got a hit. Find an ending, but don't cheat, and don't you dare bring in a deus ex machina. Your characters must change, and the change must come from them.”
Brian Cox - Robert McKee

“- Ernest: This is great! This is just like that John Wayne movie when he and Sundance were in Bulgaria.
- Abner: Bolivia. They were in Bolivia. Wait a minute... they were killed in Bolivia.
- Ernest: Well, maybe they should've stayed in Bulgaria.”
Jim Varney - Ernest
Ron James - Abner

“- Gordie: Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?
- Teddy: Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a dog.
- Chris: He can't be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat.
- Vern: Oh, God. That's weird. What the hell is Goofy?”
Wil Wheaton - Gordie Lachance
Corey Feldman - Teddy Duchamp
River Phoenix - Chris Chambers
Jerry O'Connell - Vern Tessio

“- Glenn Odekirk: Howard, you really think they're gonna let you put out a whole movie just about tits?
- Howard Hughes: Sure. Who doesn't like tits?”

Matt Ross - Glenn Odekirk
Leonardo DiCaprio - Howard Hughes

“- Sir Jeremy Burtom: Be careful! Anything happens to this profile, it's the death of my film career.
- Burtom's Assistant: You don't have a film career.
- Sir Jeremy Burtom: I'm too fucking good to have a film career!”
Alfred Molina - Sir Jeremy Burtom
Michael Emerson - Burtom's Assistant

“Apollo Creed vs. the Italian Stallion. Sounds like a damn monster movie.”
Carl Weathers - Apollo

- Julie "The Cat" Gaffney: I heard he was a Buddhist. You know, like Kung Fu or Richard Gere.
- Ken Wu: Kung Fu wasn't a Buddhist. He was a Trappist monk.

Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine - Julie "The Cat" Gaffney
Justin Wong - Ken Wu

“What are you, some kind of kung fu James Bond?”

DMX - Anthony Fait

“To me you were! Whoever you were in those movies, those silly goddamn heroes meant a lot to me! What does it matter if it was an illusion? It worked! So don't tell me this is you life-size. I can't use you life-size. I need Alan Swanns as big as I can get them!”

Mark Linn-Baker - Benjy Stone

- Stuart: I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?
- Randy: Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in 1983. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.
Matthew Lillard - Stuart
Jamie Kennedy - Randy

“That's part of your problem: you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies.”
Steve Martin - Davis

“- Georgie Weiss: You must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures; I make crap.
- Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
- Georgie Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.”
Mike Starr - Georgie Weiss
Johnny Depp - Ed Wood

“To my way of thinking, motion pictures are potentially the most influential form of communication ever invented. And there's no control over them. Your message reaches everyone, everywhere.”
Kevin Dunn - J. Edgar Hoover

“- Dark Helmet: What did you do?
- Colonel Sandurz: I turned off the wall.
- Dark Helmet: No, you didn't! You turned off the whole movie!
- Colonel Sandurz: I must have pressed the wrong button.
- Dark Helmet: Well, put it back on!”
Rick Moranis - Dark Helmet
George Wyner - Colonel Sandurz

“- Sam Kamin: That's my job. I find people to be in movies.
- Max Zamphirescu: They pay for this? That's so stupid!
- Sam Kamin: You've been talking to my father, haven't you!”
Billy Crystal - Sam 'Sammy' Kamin
Gheorghe Muresan - Max Zamphirescu

“Do you think someday people will get Tibet on their movie screens and wonder what happened to us?”
Jamyang Jamtsho Wangchuk - Dalai Lama, 14 Years Old

- Janey Briggs: I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That". I masturbate to that movie.
- Jake Wyler: [to nosy Flight Attendant right behind them] Do you mind?
- Flight Attendant: Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy.
Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
Molly Ringwald - Flight Attendant

“- Artsy Teacher: You could say that what happened in that theatre was a direct result of the movie itself.
- Cici: That is so Moral Majority. You can't blame real life violence on entertainment.
- Film Class Guy #1: Yes you can. Don't you ever watch the news?
- Film Class Guy #2: Hello? The murderer was wearing a ghost mask just like in the...” (continue)(continue reading)

Craig Shoemaker - Artsy Teacher
Sarah Michelle Gellar - Cici
Joshua Carter Jackson - Film Class Guy #1
Walter Franks - Film Class Guy #2

“Pig Pen, when I want advice about a good Planet of the Apes film or maybe how to get the resin out of my bong I'll come to you ok? But I am not gonna take romantic advice from somebody who cannot spell romantic or advice... or bong.”
Jason London - Rick Rambis