Movie quotes

“- Freddy: Shakespeare?
- Kit Ramsey: Shake a spear! Spearchucker! I'm a spearchucker now!”

Claude Brooks - Freddy
Eddie Murphy - Kit Ramsey

“- Kevin: Who talked?
- Max: It wasn't me, Han Solo, Zach got the information from Jinx.
- Kevin: Max... I am not Han Solo. You are not Luke Skywalker. There's no Empire. There's no Force and there's no Dark Side!”
Tate Donovan - Kevin Donaldson
Joaquin Phoenix - Max

“Tonight, on the Clamp Cable Classic Movie Channel, don't miss Casablanca, now in full color with a happier ending.”
Neil Ross - Announcer

“I knew I can't make those movies anymore. I can't make another piece of art that glorifies violence and bloodshed and brutality. I can't contribute another stone to this landslide of dehumanising rage that has swept across this country like a pestilence.”
Steve Martin - Davis

“- Kate Beringer: What're they doing?
- Billy Peltzer: They're watching Snow White. And they love it.”

Phoebe Cates - Kate Beringer
Zach Galligan - Billy Peltzer

“Who's that for? Mr. Ed? You stick that thing in me, I'm gonna stab you in the heart with it. You ever see Pulp Fiction?”

Ken Hudson Campbell - Max

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”
Rose McGowan - Tatum Riley

- Marcus Sommers: What are you doing now Davy?
- David: "I'm studying eastern philosophy and cowboy movies. The ying, the yang and the bang bang"!

Kevin Costner - Marcus Sommers
David Marshall Grant - David

“- Eli Cross: Sam, this picture is my child. What would you say if the studio said your daughter Jennifer would look better with her fingers chopped off?
- Sam: Well, being an insecure writer, I'd call my agent and get a second opinion.”
Peter O'Toole - Eli Cross
Allen Garfield - Sam

“- Larry Benjamin: Yaeger? I sent him over to Jerry in special effects. He's having his head life cast for the head crushing scene we're filming next. Yaeger's the guy who's going to get his head squished between the cheeks of Toxie's ass.
- Andy: Larry, it would be so much faster and cheaper if we use this watermelon with a wig on it like you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Lloyd Kaufman - Larry Benjamin
Mo Fischer - Andy

“I remember after I saw Rocky, I ran out in the park jogging, shadow boxing. Some guy came up to me and punched me right in the face.”
Charles Grodin - Warren

“- Cop: Who do you like better, Picard or Kirk?
- Nick: There's no question about it. Kirk.
- Cop: You bet! You gotta respect a guy who can fuck a green bitch and destroy a whole civilization, all in 60 minutes.”

Paulina Porizkova - Cop
Aaron Eckhart - Nick

“There's one theory that the environmental movement of our day was sparked by the rerelease of Bambi in the late 1950s.”
Robert Sean Leonard - Tom

“I'm sure you'll make a fine film without the aid of Scotland Yard. I'm here about a minor matter of murder.”

Edward Fox - Inspector Craddock

“- Dewey Riley: Typically, serial killers are white male.
- Randy Meeks: That's why it's perfect! It's sort of against the rules but not really. Mrs. Voorhees was a terrific serial killer, and there's always room for Candyman's daughter. She's sweet, she's deadly, she's bad for your teeth.”

David Arquette - Dewey Riley
Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks

“- Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
- Bethany: Nineteen?
- Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.”
Salma Hayek - Serendipity
Linda Fiorentino - Bethany

“- Ellie Arroway: Occam's razor. You ever heard of it?
- Palmer Joss: Hack-em's Razor. Sounds like some slasher movie.”
Jodie Foster - Eleanor Arroway
Matthew McConaughey - Palmer Joss

“I cannot believe it. They get Tori Spelling to play Sid, and they cast Joe Blow Nobody to play me. At least you get David Schwimmer. I get the guy who drove the stagecoach for one episode of Dr. Quinn!”

Jamie Kennedy - Randy Meeks

“- Marnie Piper: A pentagram. Lon Chaney had one of these on his hand when he was bit by that werewolf.
- Aggie Cromwell: I've always said that the movies could teach us so much.”
Kimberly J. Brown - Marnie Piper
Debbie Reynolds - Aggie Cromwell

“I know this sounds silly, like this is the scene in the movie where the guy's trying to get ahold of the long-lost son, you know, but this is that scene. And I think they have those scenes in movies because they're true, you know? Because they really happen. See, this is the scene in the movie where you help me out.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Phil Parma

- Robin Hood: As my first order of business, I would like to appoint a new Sheriff... my friend Ahchoo.
- Crowd: A black sheriff?
- Blinkin: He's black?
- Ahchoo: And why not? It worked in "Blazing Saddles".
Cary Elwes - Robin Hood
Mark Blankfield - Blinkin
Dave Chappelle - Ahchoo

“Making movies is the most wonderful thing in the world. Working with friends - entertaining people - yes, I suppose I miss it.”
Sir Ian McKellen - James Whale

- Bob Redding: I run the movie house.
- Elvira: Oh, really? I'm in movies too! Have you ever shown, uh, "I Married Satan"?
- Bob Redding: No...
- Elvira: How about the sequel, "I Married Satan 2"?
- Bob Redding: I, ah... I can only play G-rated movies.
- Elvira: Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex... (continue)(continue reading)
Daniel Greene - Bob Redding
Cassandra Peterson - Elvira

“Listen, anything you got to say about your mother-in-law, you don't have to explain to me. You know what I mean? Like if she were the star of a real crummy horror movie, I'd believe it.”
Jonathan Winters - Lennie Pike

“I know a man who made an anti-war movie... a good one. When it was shown in his home town, army enlistment went up six hundred percent. I'm trying to convince the world with my movie that there is a reasonable and better way of getting home for Thanksgiving.”
Peter O'Toole - Eli Cross