Sex quotes

“For every gorgeous woman out there's a guy tired of banging her.”
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper

“Alan Harper-You gotta be excited about having your girlfriend back. What has been like a month?
Walden Schmidt-Three weeks.
Alan Harper-Still that is like a decade in penis years.
”
Ashton Kutcher - Walden Schmidt
Jon Cryer - Alan Harper

“Children are God’s little way of punishing us for having sex.”
Holland Taylor - Evelyn Harper

“The quiet ones are always the freaks.”
Conchata Ferrell - Berta

“You ladies don't know what I'm going through. I mean, you can have all the sex you want and don't have to worry about getting anyone pregnant.”

Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“It's as if at that moment Eric Forman and Donna Pinciotti ceased to exist and merged into one perfect being... Donneric Forciotti.”

Christopher Grace - Eric Forman

Michael Kelso-I say do it with her.
Eric Forman-Kelso, your solution to everything is "Do it with her".
Michael Kelso-Hey, it worked on my science teacher. C minus.
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso
Christopher Grace - Eric Forman

“You can't sleep in the same bed with someone and not be doin' it. I've fallen asleep not doin' it and woken up doin' it.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“When guys cheat, its because they need some hot action. But when girls cheat it's way worse, 'cause girls don't even like sex.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“People are so friendly around here. The women on the corner just offered to have sex with me.”

Wilmer Valderrama - Fez

“You know Donna, you're a great study buddy. You make studying fun.”

Christopher Grace - Eric Forman

“Donna, sex is how we control men. If they know we like it as much as they do, we'll never get jewelry again.”
Mila Kunis - Jackie Burkhart

“A promise ring is not only a gift from the heart, but it also means more sex and less mouthin' off.”
Ashton Kutcher - Michael Kelso

“These after-school specials are thrilling. Who knew that one beer could turn a cheerleader into a whore?”
Wilmer Valderrama - Fez

“Kitty Forman-Sex, it's not dirty.
Red Forman-It's not clean either.”
Kurtwood Smith - Red Forman
Debra Jo Rupp - Kitty Forman

“Kitty Forman-Red, say something.
Red Forman-It's more fun than it looks.”

Kurtwood Smith - Red Forman
Debra Jo Rupp - Kitty Forman

“I once had sex on a bus and I was driving it. Oh...... were those kids late to school.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Sophie Kachinsky

“I have so much green under my fingernails, it looks like I had really good sex with Shrek.”
Beth Behrs - Caroline Channing

“When you have sex with a woman, be gentle and listen to her. Treat her with respect and dignity even if you don't love her.”
Viggo Mortensen - Ben

“You fuck dumb. You don't marry dumb.”
Allison Janney - LaVona

“Look, you'll have a girlfriend soon, and this misery will be a thing of the past. But follow my advice. For your first time... For your first time, take whatever comes. Even a total dog is okay. Just get your first time out of the fuckin' way.”
Toni Servillo - Saverio Schisa

“Marchino Schisa-So... how hot was Aunt Patrizia today? Buck naked. On a scale of one to a hundred?
Fabietto Schisa-A billion.
Marchino Schisa-If you had to choose between Maradona coming to Napoli and screwing Aunt Patrizia... which would you choose?
Fabietto Schisa-Maradona.”
Filippo Scotti - Fabietto Schisa
Marlon Joubert - Marchino Schisa

“People shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love.”
Reese Witherspoon - Annette Hargrove

He used to sneak into my dorm room drunk every night. We'd go at it for a little while, and then, as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. "What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag. If you tell anybody, I'm gonna kick your ass!" God. The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man's got a mouth like a HOOVER, Ooooof!

Joshua Carter Jackson - Blaine Tuttle

“There's nothing more natural than the act of making love.”
Stephen Moyer - Bill Compton